


The Ice in a Dragon's Heart

by esm3rald



Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Angst, Arranged/Forced Marriage (but without forced sex), But episode5 goes differently, Canon compliant until ep.5 of season8, Daenerys doesn't burn King's Landing, Dark Daenerys Targaryen, Denial, Eventual Jonerys HEA, F/M, Falling in love again in a way, Jon steps up eventually but is it too late?, Kind of Mad Queen Daenerys but not really, Patching things up, Purely Political Marriage (but only at first), Targaryen Baby, Unrequited Love, basically fuck the Starks and the North, but kind of a tyrant as well, but not really unrequited (on both sides), if this were the vampire diaries I'll say that Daenerys flipped her switch, in the sense that she stops listening to others and does what she wants, it's more like a form of PTSD or something, kind of emotionless Daenerys, kind of targaryen madness but not really, more dragons, more like her normal ruthlessness upped by a 1000, not for fans of Arya and Bran either, not for fans of Sansa, only the Red Keep, she doesn't listen to advisors anymore, still very effective and good queen Daenerys, the boatbaby that was promised
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-24
Updated: 2019-06-24
Packaged: 2020-05-18 21:47:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19343308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/esm3rald/pseuds/esm3rald
Summary: After Jon's rejection in episode5 of season8, Daenerys still snaps but in a very different way. The dragon awakens but her heart has turned to ice.16/09/2019 - I'm going to rewrite this story as an alternate season8, starting from Jon learning the truth from Sam. Basically, I'm going to write season8 how I would have wanted it to go. It will probably still have Starks bashing (and probably Sam as well) but, I remember thinking after episode2 aired, when I still didn't know about the leaks, that they were going to do with the whole 'Jon and Dany against the world' trope. Naive of me but well...anyway, that's what I'll do. The people around Jon and Dany will react the same way they reacted in canon season8 but Jon and Dany will stay united and there will be boatbaby because it's a must. So, ignore this prologue because it's not valid anymore. When I write the new prologue, I'll replace it.





	The Ice in a Dragon's Heart

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is my new Jonerys story. 'The Nightmare in Her Dreams' is still my priority so don't expect regular updates for this story. Still, hope you'll like it. Also, remember that this is Daenerys' perspective on things. She's a bit of an unreliable narrator (though she's right on a lot of things). Still, can you really blame her for feeling what she feels? This story is not meant to bash Jon, at all. Jon has his own reasons and his own emotional baggage to deal with. And I'll go into that later on. I love Jon but in season8 he was horrible, unrecognizable. He will return to be the character we all love eventually but it'll take time. And Dany has her wounds that needs to heal and Jon ain't helping. Also, it's very possible that you won't like Daenerys very much in some instances, though maybe you won't like Jon very much either in some parts. Dany will be harsh (maybe too harsh) at times (it will come from a place of not caring if she hurts others emotionally, but she won't go out of her way of hurting others except for those who deserves it because that's just her personality) and Jon, like I already said, will be like he was in season8, at least at first, but it's all part of the process so bear with me. So yeah, angst all around. But it's my way of dealing with season8. I need this and I'm sure a lot of people do as well. I love Jonerys with all my heart or I wouldn't continue writing stories about them.
> 
> Anyway, enough with this boring author's note and on to the story!
> 
> By the way, I didn't actually watch episode5 so I'm not really sure when exactly this conversation happens in canon, but in this story it happens before Dany executes Varys.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, in answer to a review I received on fanfiction.net (and to everyone who thinks like this person because it’s not the first time that I got something like that for this story), which is this:  
> DoomMarine55 (whose username is DM55 here in Archive of Our Own and that I found calling sexists other people in other stories for the same reason btw. This guy clearly doesn't understand or doesn't want to understand but whatever)  
> "It's Jon's fault Daenaerys went insane because he didn't want to have sex with his aunt."  
> \- A totally rational, definitely not insane or sexist person.
> 
> I think that you completely missed not only the point of my story, and the meaning of this chapter (or maybe you didn’t bother reading it, which is more likely) but you completely missed the significance and meaning of the scene in 8x05. I thought it was pretty obvious but obviously not if some people think this scene had anything to do with sex. 
> 
> Daenerys didn’t become crazy because Jon refused to have sex with her, and I would never imply that Jon wasn’t free to say no. Daenerys wasn’t even trying to have sex with Jon in that scene. I don’t understand where did you get that impression from. 
> 
> What did you think that the whole dialogue between the two of them was? Or did you click on mute in this scene? It’s impossible that you didn’t understand what the whole thing meant. Daenerys says. ‘I don’t have love here. Only fear.’ And Jon replies with: ‘I love you. You’re my Queen.’ At that point, Daenerys says, ‘Is that all am I to you?’. What exactly do you think this scene mean? Because, for me, it’s obvious. 
> 
> Jon keeps saying that he loves Daenerys as a queen, not a person. Daenerys wanted to see if Jon still cared about her, still loved her as Daenerys. It has nothing to do with sex. She wanted him to reassure her but he didn’t. He once again put distance between them and just said nothing. A hug, a simple: ‘you’re not alone’, would have been enough for Daenerys to see that she wasn’t alone, that she was still loved, even if only in a platonic, familial way. But Jon did none of those things. He abandoned her. 
> 
> And with that, I’m not saying that Daenerys didn’t make mistakes and I’m going to get into that when I write from Jon’s perspective but this chapter is from Daenerys’ perspective and Jon did left her alone, he made her feel alone. Are you completely incapable of empathy towards what Daenerys has lost that you can’t see her perspective? 
> 
> She lost all the people closest to her, both Tyrion and Varys betrayed her (Varys even tried to kill her), and two of her three children are dead. She had no family to begin with but the one she had built for herself was gone. The only person she had left was Jon and he abandoned her as well. So, the answer that Daenerys give: ‘let it be fear’ is because she felt like she had no love left, at all.
> 
> Nobody loved her, or at least, she felt that way. And Jon didn’t prove her wrong. He didn’t have to have sex with her, but a simple gesture of affection would have been enough to make her see differently. Instead, he kept silent, once again. He did nothing, once again. 
> 
> That is the point of this chapter and of the scene in this episode. I can’t believe I have to explain something so obvious but here it is. How can you misinterpret this scene as having anything to do with sex, I don’t get it. I even got someone who dared say that Daenerys was like her father Aerys, getting aroused because she has just burned a person alive. Can you believe that? Did you dream it? Because it never happened. This person clearly hated Daenerys and misinterpreted every scene with her in it to justify that hatred (like some Jonsas/Sansa stans people I know). And if you hate Daenerys, why would you bother reading a Jonerys story? I don't get it. And the next person that leaves a comment related to this, I’m going to ignore completely and the message erased.

_“I don’t have love here. Only fear.”_

She was drowning. She could feel it. After the loss of Viserion, half her army – her people –, Jorah, Rhaegal, Missandei. The loneliness and isolation she had felt in the North, the hostility of its people, even after saving their worthless lives. Tyrion and Varys looking at her like she was already mad, like she was her father, even when she kept listening to their advices time and time again, losing more and more every time.

She was on a cliff, a step away from falling. And her only lifeline was the man in front of her. A word from him would be enough to bring her back from the edge. He was the man she loved and the only family she had left. He should be on her side, right? Even when everyone else had abandoned her, _he_ should be the one to stand by her.

But she would be disappointed once again.

She had begged him not to say anything to his family, because she knew, unlike him, what the consequences would be. She had been in danger all her life because of who she was. She knew what it was like to be hunted just because she was a Targaryen. He didn’t understand. But she did. Why didn’t he listen to her? Was he so blinded by his duty and his love for his family that he didn’t understand what this secret would do to her, to them?

Or he simply didn’t care. Maybe the truth was that he didn’t love her. That he never did. That he used her to get her armies and dragons. That he manipulated her to save the North and his people, his family – the Starks, since he obviously didn’t consider _her_ his family – and then tossed her aside when he had no use for her anymore.

Maybe finding out who he was was almost a relief for him, so he could have an excuse – a seemingly honorable one – to cast her aside, to end their relationship. He was too much of a Stark to continue having a relationship with someone he was related to. And who could blame him for that?

After all, the Starks had the reputation of being honorable. Where was the honor in what Lady Stark had done? Telling Tyrion the truth after swearing that she would keep quiet, knowing perfectly well what the consequences would be?

Hadn’t she warned Jon that this would happen? Was he really so naïve to not see Sansa Stark for the treasonous snake she really was? The manipulative, insidious mind behind those blue eyes of hers?

Maybe he did but he didn’t care.

Daenerys tried to suppress these thoughts. No, he did love her. He did. She had been sure of that. She had felt it, on that ship. Didn’t she?

She wasn’t sure of anything anymore.

But maybe not all was lost.

 _“I love you.”_ He said. And for a moment, everything was right in the world. But his next word destroyed that illusion, freezing her like she had been doused in icy water. _“You’re my Queen.”_

 _His Queen._ She was his Queen. That was all he seemed able to say nowadays. Like his oath to her could make up for the fact that he had been completely absent since he had found out who his parents really were. Where was he when the Northerners kept grumbling under their breaths, in her earshot, that a Targaryen wasn’t welcome here, would never be welcome here, that her armies of foreigners and her beasts weren’t welcome here? Where was he when his sister openly defied her at every turn? When the rest of his family avoided her like she had something contagious? When she had to burn Viserion, after losing him for a second time? When she lost Jorah, her oldest friend and advisor? When they had left her – him included – isolated at that feast? A feast to celebrate the fact that they had won against the army of the dead, thank to her armies and dragons. Where was he when Rhaegal – the dragon he had ridden into battle and during that one time at the waterfalls – was killed? When her dear friend Missandei was killed?

Nowhere to be found. Certainly not by her side, like he promised he would be.

And now he looked at her like she had tricked him, like she was a different person that he didn’t recognize. Like he was afraid of her, disgusted by her.

Daenerys didn’t understand. She had told him everything about her, had opened her heart to him like she had never done before with anyone else, she had trusted him completely.

What right did he have to look at her that way now?

He had betrayed her. The moment he revealed the truth to his family, he had betrayed her.

 _Three treasons will you know. Once for blood and once for gold and once for love._ The words she heard in the House of the Undying so long ago came back to her. Was Jon the third treason?

Daenerys tried one last time, to appeal to him.

_"Is that all I am to you?"_

A kiss. A scream for help.

But he rejected her once again, putting distance between them.

Daenerys felt it, in that moment, like a tear deep inside her chest. Something in her had broken. It wasn’t her heart, it was more than that. It was like her entire being was being broken apart.

It lasted but a few seconds, and then…and then there was nothing.

The pain was gone, the anger was gone, the fear was gone. All that was left was clarity. She knew what she needed to do now.

 _“Then let it be fear.”_ She said, and she almost didn’t recognize her own voice. It was flat, emotionless.

If she had looked in the mirror in that moment she would have seen her eyes, usually so warm and expressive, passionate, turned cold.

She was a dragon. She thrived in fire. But her fire was gone. And all that was left was ice.


End file.
